Birthday Dinner

My kids can eat. And they don't eat just kid style crap. They like real food. Grownup food. And when it came time for my youngest son's 11th birthday dinner, he knew what he wanted.

He presented me with the menu that I was to make:

Ceaser salad
Lentil Soup (with brown lentils, NOT red lentils)
Fresh bread
BBQ Pork baby back ribs with my father's secret recipe
Broccoli
Baked potatoes
and "something chocolatey and ooey gooey" for dessert.

What did I tell you. The kid knows how to eat and eat well.

To find organic pork baby back ribs is not easy. I called my butcher, and luckily, he had 3 racks which he set aside for me. However, 3 racks is nowhere near enough to feed 7 people. Well, 6, because Alan can't eat pork. Ha! Ha!
So I picked up a whole chicken and some wings and legs too, so that everybody (except Alan) would get to taste the ribs and have some chicken (which I made with the same BBQ sauce). I'm not going to give you the recipe here for my Dad's super secret BBQ sauce. I'm saving that for the Cookbook I'm writing; but I will show you a picture of it.

Trust me, it will be worth it for you to buy my cookbook just for that recipe alone. Shameless plug, I know. I took a picture of the barbeque with all the meat on it, but it didn't come out so great. It was dark, and I suck as a photographer. (Definitely NOT a shameless plug. My photography skills really suck).

But trust me. It was delicious.

So the soup was easy and tasty. No measurements (much like everything I do), but general guidelines.

Chop up some onion, carrots and celery. Sautee in a soup pot with a little EVOO on a medium heat.

You can add zucchini or any other veggie you think might be nice. Once the onions (etc) are sweated out a bit and soft, throw in a bay leaf, some chopped garlic (the more the merrier as far as I am concerned) and stir a bit. Now comes the wine. I love pouring wine into a hot pan. It sizzles something fierce. I added about 3/4 of a cup.

Once the wine is in, you can add all the other ingredients. I added a handful or two of rice (I use brown), a whackload of brown lentils and a healthy tablespoon of cumin. The cumin gives it a lovely earthy flavour. Very middle Eastern. You could use red lentils here too, which personally I prefer, but since I wasn't the one who set the menu, I had to comply.

Cover with water and bring to a boil. Cover the pot and lower the temperature to medium low, just enough to keep a light boil on. Cook for about half an hour, but stir often. The lentils like to sink and glue themselves to the bottom of the pan. Once they are soft, I use a handy dandy hand blender, which I refer to as the whippersnapper. I try and avoid whippering up the carrots too much, but if they do get blended in, so what? I use a really old Braun one. Alan had it when I first met him, and it is still the one we use today. Its over 20 years old and it still works. If we ever divorce its coming with me, along with his testicles. But I digress.

It is not the most gorgeous looking soup, but it is tasty. I garnish it with lemon and cilantro. Alan prefers it without the lemon, but I like it with. Makes it zesty.

As for the rest of it... I had a very happy boy.

Extremely happy, actually, because he got two birthday dinners. Which meant two birthday desserts.

Happiness CAN come in chocolate flavor!

Roasted Kabocha Squash Soup

I was at a friends house recently and he gave me a bowl of one of the yummiest soups I have ever had. It was a roasted something or other squash soup with Chorizo and yogurt. Normally, I hate chorizo. To be honest, I don't much care for any sausage. This soup, however, was excellent. Like, REALLY excellent. Smokey, rich and fabulous. They gave me a tupperware container to go. It didn't make it through the night. I ate it as soon as I got home. I took a copy of the recipe too, and vowed to adapt it as best I could so that Alan could eat it. That meant, no chorizo (or any smoked pork for that matter, like bacon) and no greek yoghurt.


First, get yourself a couple of squashes. I ended up with organic Kabocha squashes, something I have never heard of. I didn't want spaghetti squash or anything that would be too stringy. These were about the size of a pomello.

Stab them repeatedly with a fork or a knife - do this carefully, and roast them in a 350 oven for an hour or so. The stabbing helps them cook faster and stops them from exploding, or at least so I've always been told. It also helps if you scream "DIE SQUASH DIE" when you do it. It gives you an imtimate glance into a serial killers mind, I think. Either way, I find this easier than cutting them up when they are raw, scooping out the seeds, maybe peeling them.

Its just so much eaiser to break them open after, scoop out the cooked seeds and whatnot, and then get rid of the skin.

Once you've scooped it all out, set it aside for a bit. Chop up an onion or two, lots of garlic and a couple ribs of celery and sautee them in a large soup pot with a bit of EVOO to cover the bottom of the pan.

Now here would be a good place to add bacon or chorizo or smoked turkey (if you don't eat pork). I did none of those tihngs, because Alan can't eat pork and I didn't have any smoked turkey. I don't love the "smoke flavor" you can buy in a bottle, but there are LOTS of smoked spices out there that are AMAZING. I got out my mortar and pestle (YAY! First time using it!)

In it, I threw some "Smoke" seasonings I had bought at the One of a Kind Show and some smoked paprika. Then I added all the roasted squash, a bay leaf and a bit of salt and enough water or broth (veg or chicken - I used a mixture of both) to cover the works.

Bring it to a bowl, cover and allow to simmer for about half an hour or so. Then I strained all the bits and threw it in my vitamix to blend. I find you get a silkier soup if you strain the liquid out first.

Note to self: Make sure to COVER the blender. And that the blender starts on LOW SPEED. If you start it high, and its hot, and its not covered... well, you are going to be cleaning your ceiling forever. And you could get burned. Or you could be like Steven Spielberg and the cherries. Not quite the same thing, but still.

Notice my hand holding the lid.

Stir the soup really well to combine the blendered veggies and the broth. Now you can add the yoghurt or not as you choose. I didn't use greek yoghurt as the recipe called for, which makes a really rich creamy broth. I used sheeps yoghurt and it was delicious. I garnished with a few sprigs of cilantro. While it wasn't the same as Bruce's soup, it came out bloody excellent, and I was well happy.

It was already almost a month ago that I made this soup, and I am craving it again. Although now at the end of this blog, all I can think is that Steven Spielberg had a really, really REALLY tolerant mother.

Goulash Stew

Yes, I know it has been a while and I have been neglectful in my writing duties. Sue me. I've been busy. However, I *did* manage to take lots and lots of pictures of all the stuff I have cooked over the last while. Today's difficulty was in deciding what to blog about first. At least I have the pictures to remind of the dishes I made over the last month or so.

Today's blog post is going to be about Goulash Stew. It was super easy to make, tasty and works great as leftovers, so you can make lots and have it for a while. It also freezes well so you can use it for those days when you haven't got time to cook. This can also be made in a slow cooker, which I don't have, but would work very well.

Note to self: Keep eye open for a slow cooker. Anybody looking to get rid of theirs? Let me know! I promise to make you a stew with it.

Back to the goulash. I have always loved a good goulash. Its hearty and rich and very satisfying. To make a decent goulash, you need stewing beef, a bunch of vegetables, a wodge of tomato paste, a big oven proof pot (or that slow cooker), some decent red wine, caraway and of course, paprika.

As you can see, I used a couple carrots, onions and some garlic, and a couple potatoes. You could always add other root vegetables or celery or peppers or whatever you have in house. I used what was on hand. Pretty well I ALWAYS have carrots, onions, garlic and potatoes. They are staples. For this stew, you don't even need to brown the veg or the meat. You can just chop it all up, throw it into the oven proof pot, add the tomato paste, a huge wodge of paprika, a generous spoonful of caraway (ground or whole is fine) and some salt.

I added about half a bottle of red wine. The other half I served with dinner. The nice thing about serving goulash with wine is that even if you are drunk, you never slur "goulash". Try it. You sound drunk just saying the word. You can blame the goulash!

As you can see, none was left by the end of it. Theres a moral here: If the food sucks, at least you have wine, and everybody is happy!

Don't you love stories with happy endings and good morals? I know I do!

But I digress. Put roughly half a bottle of wine in, and then add either water or broth to just cover everything. Boxed broth is fine. If you don't have fresh or boxed, you can use the water and add some boullion. It can be vegetable, chicken, beef... whatever. I used a box of organic chicken broth and it worked out fine. Cover your pot and stick it in a 350 oven for about 3 hours.

350 is the perfect temperature to keep a light simmer on, while you forget about it until dinner time.

This also tastes great with a dollop of sour cream on top, to serve. My 13 year old loves it that way, it gives it an extra creamy richness. My husband can't have the sour cream so has it on its own. Either way its delicious.

And if it's not, there is always wine.

Super Simple Sides

These three sides take about 5 minutes to prepare, and then you toss them in the oven and almost forget about them until they are cooked.

Super Simple Side #1:

Roasted Cauliflower with Cumin

This is one of my favorite dishes, and I get requests for it all the time at dinner parties. Normally, I find cauliflower kind of boring, but once you roast it, its AMAZING. This dish always reminds me of my dad. He LOVED cauliflower and I wish I could have made it for him.

Get a large roasting pan for the oven. I use a glass one. In it, toss a chopped up cauliflower. It doesn't matter if you break it into florets or use a knife to just get it to bit bite sized pieces. It all works. Chop up an onion into large pieces, anywhere from dime sized to loonie sized. Again, this is a very forgiving dish. Just chop it and get it in there.

You can use any kind of onion. This time, I used red onions, since its what I had in house. This also works if you use those beautiful colored cauliflowers.

To your cauliflower and onion mix, toss it with EVOO. I use the organic Kirkland EVOO. Its cheap and delicious.

Now get out your cumin. And scoop it on to the cauliflower. Use a LOT.

Toss it again, and add a bit more cumin. I wasn't kidding when I said a LOT. Throw in a pinch or two of salt. Put in a 450-500 oven, and cook the crap out of it for about 40 minutes. Toss it around and put it back in the oven for another 30 minutes or so. You want it to be just this side of burned. It carmelizes and tastes delish. It also makes great leftovers and can be served cold. You can double the recipe easily if you have lots of people for dinner. For variations, you can add some other root veggies, like potato, parsnip or sweet potatoes (my favorite). Its all good.

Super Simple Side #2:
Roasted Potatoes and Sweet Potatoes.

In a big roasting pan (again, I used glass) add a coating of EVOO, some vinegar (I used red wine this time, but it works with just about any kind), salt, pepper, oregano, a tablespoon or so of dijon (again, any kind will work and slightly alter the flavour), lots of paprika, chilis, cumin (no where near as much as the cauliflower dish, more like a teaspoon) and whatever other spices and seasonings you feel like. Its kind of like a spicy vinaigrette you are making here. Whatever you have can work. Just use your imagination. Stir it all together so you have something like a liquidy paste.

Chop up some sweet potatoes, onions and potatoes. You could add carrots, celery, parsnips, zucchini... whatever you want.

Toss it in the marinade, and combine.

Roast in a 400 oven, turning after 40 minutes, and then roast for about 20 minutes longer. These can be made earlier in the day, and reheated when you need them. It takes about 20 minutes on a 350 oven to reheat from cold.

Super Simple Side #3:
Pan Sauteed Mushrooms

This is a great dish to serve with a steak. It can also be used on top of veal, baked chicken, as an appetizer (as vol-au-vents), in eggs or whatever you please.

Chop up a whackload of mushrooms. Mushrooms are how I learned to chop fast. When I was about 18, I worked at a Kelsey's and part of my duties was prepping the salad board. I had to chop a bazillion mushrooms at a time. One day the head cook was watching me do it, pulled me aside and taught me a better way. You slice one edge off, and then turn the mushroom to lay flat on the side you just cut off.

This stops the mushroom from sliding around, and in so doing, you have a better chance of NOT slicing off your fingers. Since I have always been partial to my fingers, I was quite grateful for this advice. You also should curl the fingers that hold the food you are cutting slightly, so the blade somewhat rests on your knuckle. Also, the knife should be ever so slightly tilted AWAY from your fingers. With practice, this becomes easy. And you get fast. Its a fun way to freak people out. I often have conversations with people while chopping food fast, and I don't even look at the cutting board.

I'll see if I can put together a video to show how I chop stuff fast.

In the meantime, back to the mushrooms.

Chop up a whatload of mushrooms, as they shrink quite a bit once cooked.

Coat a large frying pan with EVOO or butter or a mixture of both. I have to use oil alone, because my darling hubby can't do the butter. Well, possibly he *could* but then nobody would be able to be near him for several hours unless they had a gas mask.

Heat the oil/butter/whatever mixture up on a medium to medium high stove, and toss in the mushrooms. Don't worry, they will shrink.

As they fry down, you can add a variety of different things. Salt and pepper for sure, fresh garlic, worstechesteshistichistishire (whatever the hell you call it) sauce or lemon or HP steak sauce or some red wine or brandy... its all good.

Personally, on this batch, I added salt, pepper, fresh garlic and brandy. Right at this point the mixture is perfect as a side dish. You could keep going and turn it into a mushroom soup by adding some broth. Or you could cook it until the liquid reduces a bit. Thats what I did and then I added a scoop of chevre, to make it creamier, since I used it to make vol-au-vents. What a pain in the ass vaul-au-vents are, but oh so tasty. Its hard to go wrong with puff pastry. Even if you screw up the shape (which I did), they still taste awesome, as long as you don't severely undercook or overcook them.

I rolled out the store bought pastry (because while I love to cook, I am not a glutton for punishment) and cut out big circles, and then cut out a hoop that I could use to (ideally) create a puff cup to hold the mushrooms. You use egg wash to "glue" the hoop on to the base, and then you dock the centre by stabbing it repeatedly with your fork. This stops the centre from rising, so you have the "cup"

Cool them in the fridge for 20 minutes or so, then bake them at 350 until brown and crispy. Once they are ready, scoop some of your mushroom mixture in, and dig in. Sadly, I forgot to take a picture of the completed vol-au-vents on their own... so I have attempted a crop job on a party picture.

Racist Eggs

Last Friday there was supposed to be not a "strike" day, but a day of protest where there would be no teachers in the school; therefore, parents had to find alternate arrangements for their kids.

I don't know a single kid who was upset about it.

As it turned out, at 4a.m. on the day of the protest, they cancelled it. Which really sucked for everybody involved, except my kids.

My youngest son had a friend sleep over, and they probably went to bed just before the announcement was made. There was no way they were going to get up in time to make it for school, so I let them sleep.

When they finally woke, they wanted breakfast. Normally, PA days in my house are pancakes days., but not that day. They wanted omlettes. Colored omlettes.

I wondered if that was racist.

Whatever.

Out came the food coloring. Initially, Ethan wanted green omlettes (obviously he read too much Dr. Seuss as a child) but they ended up deciding on red.

Gross looking, I know, but they seemed happy enough.

I have these awesome green pans (shameless plug) that I use for eggs. God help anyone who touches them for anything else (ARE YOU LISTENING ALAN? YES, I MEAN YOU!!!).

Turn the stove on high, add a little butter or oil or whatever fat you use to grease the pan, get it sizzling, and as soon as it is sizzling, pour the eggs in and turn it right down to the lowest setting. The eggs should spit and bubble, and then settle down. I added some sharp old cheddar (my favorite is the 5 year old Balderson I get from Costco), although you could easily use any type of cheese you like.

I then added spinach.

Cover it with a lid, and let it slowly cook and melt the cheese. Check it every few minutes. Once nothing runs anymore, you can flip the eggs closed, cook it for another minute or two and then it should slide right out of the pan.

Each kid got half an omlette, which was approximately 2 eggs. It turned out a bit more pink than red, but they liked it just the same.

Once the food coloring was out, they then decided they wanted to do some scientific esperiments. Ethan was in the middle of this book called "101 Great Science Experiments" that he got from the school library, where you make an underwater volcano effect using hot and cold water and food coloring.

We started with the yellow, and it proceeded from there with every color we had.

And then they started layering. With multiple colors. Starting with dark colors going to light, and then the reverse.

I think they learned more at home that day, overall. A friend of mine (who sent their kid to school) said their kids watched movies all day. Educational movies, I'm sure.

New Year's Feast

We had our closest friends over for New Years, so I prepared the usual repast. I know it was only 9 of us (with 4 of them being under the age of consent), but I can't help it. I have to prep a lot of food, mostly because you never know what sort of flavour you might require.

You know, when you are inebriated.

The kitchen island was covered in all kinds of tapas. There was:

- Sufganiyot
- black olives
- green olives
- lobster claws with a homemade dijonaisse dip
- spanakopita (2 ways - puff pastry or filo)
- all kinds of cheese
- mushroom vol-au-vents
- proscuitto
- salami
- homemade lemony taheena (my specialty)
- shankleesh (a turkish cheese dip I make)
- israeli style of hot sauce
- black olive hummus (purchased from Sababa)
- palm leaf cookies
- cinnamon sugar palm leaf cookies
- roasted cauliflower (to be discussed in a future post - thought I already had written about my cauliflower dish, but can't seem to find it)
- freshly made gravlax
- bourekas
- fruit and berries
- a bunch of store bought stuff like pitas, crackers, Ritz (my guilty pleasusre) and Rivi's cookies

It also is intersting when you have crazy friends who KNOW you go a little insane when you host (ie., cook a shit load of food) and they bring an entire meal of our favorite Thai take out. They brought shrimp coconut curry, chicken and shrimp pad thai, chicken fried rice, jasmine rice and sweet and sour chicken. You know, just in case we got hungry.

I can't even remember what else we had. If I can't see it in the picture below, then I don't remember it. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH INEBRIATION. Really. Its only because it was already a week and a half ago, and I simply can't remember. SERIOUSLY.

The spanakopita is pretty easy to make, regardless of whether you make it in puff pastry or in filo. For the feta mixture, you mix a whackload of feta with chopped up fresh baby spinach, approximately equal amounts. Add a beaten egg, a tablespoon or so of chopped fresh dill, some pepper, a few garlic cloves and mix it all together. If you are using (store bought) puff pastry, roll out the cold pastry to a thin layer, using lots of flour to stop it from sticking to anything, cut it in the sizes/shapes you want, add a bit of the mixture and seal it using a bit of beaten egg as a glue and use the fork to mash it down on the edges.

Once you put it on a baking sheet lined with parchement, put it back in the fridge to get cold again.

If you are using filo pastry, use a pastry brush with melted butter to layer the filo. Since filo dries super quick, you need to keep the sheets under a very slightly moist cloth, with a piece of wax paper on top of the filo. So you take one sheet of filo, and as quick as you can try and brush the melted butter on it, and add another sheet of filo on top of it. If it rips, which it will, just put it back together as best you can. Its a bitch to work with.

I put 5 sheets together before I got totally frustrated and said screw it. Once the sheets are done, put a lot of the feta mixture on it and roll it up.

Use the melted butter to seal it. Its just like licking an envelope.

Score the top of it, brush it with melted butter and lay it on a parchment covered baking sheet.

You can bake both the filo and the puff at the same time in a 350 oven. Keep an eye on them, and when they are golden and crisp, take them out. I can't remember how long each baked for. I would put it in for 20 minutes, and keep an eye on it. If its not done, keep it in for longer.

I realize now that the only pictures I have of the finished product are on the fully laid island, and its not the clearest. Oops.

With whatever was left over of the spanakopita (both filo and puff) tasted very nice the next couple days once you heated it up in the toaster oven.

The cinnamon sugar palm leaf cookies are really easy and totally yummy. Roll out a sheet of puff pastry nice and thin. In a small pot, melt a wodge of butter. Once melted, add an equal amount of brown sugar and cinnamon to taste. I like it very cinnamony, so I added a lot. Mix it together. Once it is well mixed, shmear it all over the rolled out pastry.

Roll up on both sides.

Let it get cold in the fridge for a while, then slice and bake on parchment paper in a 350 oven until done. Start at 15 minutes and see where you are at.

They expand quite a bit when they are cooked, so give them lots of room on the cookie sheet.

RULES FOR A GOOD PARTY: put out lots of food, lots of booze, invite cool people. Add some great music, and Bob's your Uncle. Instant Excellent Party.

Happy New Year to All.